To celebrate publication of The New Rules, the dating bible for the digital generation from the multi-million-copy-selling authors of The Rules, and give you an impartial glimpse into living life by the Rules in the book we challenged a group of anonymous women to live by The New Rules and document their results.
This post from our second anonymous New Rules Girl shows how The New Rules can have a positive effect on your love life even when you are happily married.
Which of The New Rules did you follow and why?
- Rule 11: Don’t Email a Guy First and Keep it Brief
- Rule 16: Don’t Lose Your Friends Because You’re So Obsessed with a Guy
How long did you follow The New Rules?
What were the benefits of following The New Rules?
As I am already in a relationship, I was intrigued to find out if there were any benefits to following The New Rules even though I am married. In the past, I have always tended to send my husband long emails, and have then been frustrated to receive short and succinct replies back. So I decided that adopting rule 11 could make a real difference to our communication, and so suddenly I changed tack and started waiting for his emails, and replying in just a few lines when he did email me. I also started doing the same with texts, and I noticed such a difference! I started getting lots more emails and texts and they were more detailed, and where I held back on emotional sign-offs, he started introducing them. It definitely seemed to have an impact on him, and I think it has made him realise that he needs to put the effort in too, as I think he missed the attention when it wasn’t there.
Also, with a busy family life with young children, it’s hard enough to find time together – and so seeing friends as much as I should can often be difficult. So in the spirit of rule 16, I started making more plans to see friends, and often used our ‘date night’ in the week to catch up with colleagues and friends, rather than seeing him every week. He was happy for me to see my friends, but it also forced him to make plans and suggestions for date night in advance, in order to ensure that I would be spending some weeks with him. It was great!
What was the most surprising thing you learned from reading and following The New Rules?
That you don’t have to be single to reap the benefits of The New Rules. They can have a positive impact on an existing relationship too.
Will you stick to The New Rules?
To the extent that I keep motivated to catching up with friends as well as my husband, yes – and also I have definitely learnt that less is more when it comes to texting and emailing.
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